I would like to apologies for my actions over the past few weeks, indeed months, in not posting any vaguely amusing articles for your perusal (any comments about all of my articles being not even vaguely amusing are NOT welcome). I feel that I have let not just you, the reader, down, but also the owner of the site, The Famous Peter himself, and, perhaps most importantly, I have also let myself down. I hope that in the future, I will learn from my mistakes, and will avoid disappointing anybody else in future.
OK, enough with the bullshit. I've had exams, and they were hard, so I've been revising. Now I'm back. And I'm annoyed with public apologies.
Is it just me, or are they absolutely everywhere at the minute? The most famous example that I can think of is probably Tiger Woods, who used the fact that he's a world famous sportsman with a few million quid in the bank in order to sleep with lots of women. While married. But, naturally, it's all alright, since he's apologised for it. Have you seen that apology?It's an absolute piss-take.
They seem to be the latest craze among any famous wrong-doer. Everything is OK as long as you apologise for it afterwards. I could spend the next few paragraphs chatting about how this is nothing new, and the catholic church has been doing that particular scheme for centuries, but, well, I can't be bothered (it'd be a bit dry).
I think that I have three real problems with the whole apology thing. The usual one is the fact that the apologiser isn't actually saying anything with the apology, and if they are, they don't really mean it. It's all choreographed by the spin doctors, and is usually read in the kind of flat monotone that you used to use when your parents forced you to apologise to someone at the age of six. The apologies themselves all seem so formulaic (i.e. mine), and it's not as if the person making the apology has actually put anything into it. It's simply a case of "read these words."
The second is what the apology is for. Recently, Wayne Rooney issued a public apology after the Algeria game for all six seconds of these remarks. Does that really warrant a public apology?He's a bit frustrated, yes, but does he need to apologise for it? The same goes for Tiger Woods. Does he need to apologise to his wife? yes. Does he need to apologise to everybody else? Well, no, not really. To be honest, I couldn't give a toss.
The final reason, though, is that these apologies are done purely for the benefit of one person. Woods' apology was done in order to try and save himself a few million in sposorship deals. Rooney's to avoid getting booed at England's next game. Essentially, these people don't apologise because they are genuinely penitent. They just don't want to look bad. A few MPs apologised for the expenses scandal, purely to try and save face (yes, I read the Daily Mail, how could you tell?).
And anyway, what happened to the people who simply would refuse to apologise? Or is that not politically correct (see, Daily Mail again)?
