The Famous Peter has a Vuvuzela!

Seems everyone is writing about them, I might as well give it a pop.

The World Cup in 2010 is by far the most anticipated footballing event of all time. Not because it will be the best, not because it has the best hosts, and certainly not because England are "definitely going to win it". No. The World Cup is heavily anticipated purely because it is the most accessible of all time. As is every single one when it comes along, technology advances, more people get to see it, it goes without saying. Well, not without the media saying. The amount of pathetic headlines I've seen in the past few months: "BIGGEST WORLD CUP EVER!" "WAGS BANNED AS FABIO CLAMPS DOWN!" "BAN THE BERKER!" All these headlines from the Daily Star, Mirror and Rune respectively.

As usual, seeing as the England team is involved, on pitch shenanigans are overlooked in favour of ridiculously uninteresting and demeaning stories that involve coaches, wives and girlfriends of players and fans to name a few culprits, and why do papers do this? Simple, people don't want to read about a match they've probably already watched on the television. With games being broadcast on terrestrial television and Sky Sports News (or 'Sky Sports Football and other Sporting News' as I like to call it) available for nothing on Freeview, all you could ever want from a newspaper is right in front of your eyes, even being forced into your options with the impending digital switchover. Plus let's not forget the internet, but if you're reading my website you probably already know what's available.

Whilst I fully support the openness of the World Cup and its commercial availability (even if it does mean more money in the pockets of corporations) this triggers gimmicks, instantly forgettable one-offs that annoy the public for the duration of the event but disappear into obscurity soon after. For the 1970 World Cup, it was the Zaire team. For the 2008 Olympics, it was 'fake' fans, and for the 2010 World Cup it will be the Vuvuzela. The blaring, annoying, 'native' instrument has become and international symbol of hatred and mockery, being purchased by retarded children the world over to mimic the sound that overshadows their lacklustre heroes (unless you're Dutch).

Luckily, clubs have been quick to stamp down on the non lethal WMD's. At the time of writing German club Borussia Dortmund have banned them from their stadium permanently, with Cardiff and (unsurprisingly) Wimbledon following suit. For those of you who didn't know FIFA have also banned the sale of Vuvuzelas inside World Cup stadiums, backtracking on Sepp Blatter's confessed love of the "enhanced atmosphere" they bring along. I can safely say they're probably the only thing to make the JJB Stadium worse, and the JJB is one shithole. On top of the entire sound of the crowd leaking out of the gaping corners, the introduction of some buzzing horn is sure to make me drop my meat pie in disgust.

What's worse, they've actually been importing these into the UK since September 2009, and they've been used at Sheffield Wednesday matches frequently. Retailing at £10, any retard can buy them... notably my brother. I've already informed him, if I see it unattended at any point in my lifetime it will not remain in one piece. He has since hidden his noisemaker.

But this gimmick has highlighted for me the thing football has lost over the past couple of decades: passion. Whereas tickets were once cheap and the only way to see your team in acceptable quality was on the terraces of your local ground, the cloud of Sky Sports has spawned the armchair supporter, big money in the game and glory hunting. Players no longer pledge their loyalty to their childhood club, seeking the bigger paycheque instead of the personal pride and bringing happiness to their neighbours, and small clubs who depend on one player get paid peanuts to have themselves sent off into obscurity as someone who could have been put down as a legend instead sits on the bench at some club owned by an oil baron.

Still, referees are always the same. So don't argue with them. And don't bring in video refereeing.

Thanks for reading, sorry for the wait, exams are harder than they look!